This is My Life... Welcome.

This was no Quixotic endeavor; although, there are those who would disagree with me.  It may have seemed a bit foolish, impractical, rash, and possibly characterized by lofty romantic ideas.  I like to call it spontaneous, creative, fearless, and living out loud and boldly.

2012 is close to an end.  Only 44 days left of this year of learning to be Bold.  This has been one of the Most impressionable years of my life.  It was a year of struggle, learning, discovery, and spontaneity.

A great friend of mine once told me, in the midst of great depression and self loathing, to be Bold; to be courageous and face my doubts and fears with a bold and confident air.  How had my mind and soul become so knotted, gasping for air, straining against the confines of their imprisonment?  The dark, oppressive air of a lifeless and lost soul constricted my thoughts, my desires, my dreams, and my ability to discern basic emotions.  The labyrinth of my soul led straight to the center of a desolate and melancholy void.  

A beautifully adorned mask with glittering jewels and polished gold concealed my tormented soul, but I neglected to see the fragile fissures and their elaborate web in the substructure.  I wore my mask daily in an attempt to conceal the albatross that closed about my throat tighter and tighter still, strangling me till the light in my eyes had almost been snuffed out.  The only thing that kept that glimmer of hope was my family and friends.  They were my anchors.

This was NOT the life I wanted to live.  This was NOT the path I wanted to continue on.  This was NOT my destiny and the more I fought to break free, the more the chains tightened.    

Be Bold.  Two simple words.  Once spoken that night while we sat under the stars, talking about our lives and the changes we needed to make, it suddenly hit me.  Be Bold.  I had some work to do.  I pondered her words for a month or so; letting them filter through my brain, seep into my soul, and trickle into my heart.  I practiced being bold; small things here and there.  

I realized all too soon, that to be Bold, I had to face my fears, make life-altering changes, and find a new path.  No, that's not right.  I didn't need a new path; I just needed to take the path I was on and make some changes, reroute.  I no longer wanted to be on a single path.  I didn't want to take the road less traveled.  I wanted to take multiple roads less traveled.  I wanted to create my own roads and discover what lay ahead.  I was now on a journey to create my own road map.  It was time to be BOLD!  

"Babe, do you want to move to Colorado?"  With that simple question, the chains began falling from my soul.  I was starting to breathe again; not shallow, painful breaths, but deep, cleansing breaths.  The gold mask fell heavily from my fingers and landed in the dust as I walked boldly toward my new life.  I was not running away, but embracing a dream.  It was time to live my life boldly. 

I have been living boldly for 4 months. 

My road map continues to grow.  It's not about where you live either, but that you live your life boldly.  I am living my life.  I want to see as much as I can of this beautiful country that God created.  I want to discover, explore, and Live.  I don't want to have any regrets or wish that I had done more; seen more.  I am busy living life boldly and enjoying every second.    

This is my life... Welcome.

Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza

"Leap... there will be a net"

It's Way more than just dismantling the chicken coop.  It's SO much more than just another chapter of my life.  When I stop long enough to think about the impact of that one little, seemingly innocent, question, "Babe, do you want to move to Colorado?", I realize that this is more like a Cosmic shifting of planets, an El Nino of Epic proportions, A "Holy Crap, are we Really doing this?"

Someone told me recently, "Leap... there will be a net."  Yes, that may be true, but she didn't tell me that between that Leap of Faith and the net on the other side, was one Hell of a bumpy ride!  Now, I have to say that I have no one to blame but myself and I'm not complaining either.  I'm so excited about this Leap of Faith and so very ready for new adventure in our lives. It didn't even Hit me until I walked into the Chicken Coop the other day and stood looking at the emptiness, taking in the silence, watching tiny particles of dust sift through rays of sunlight.  This was Epic!

Ok, I'm the first to admit that being a "tad bit" spontaneous and a "little" impulsive can make for a BIG change.  I like change, I welcome change, I embrace it with enthusiasm and excitement.  I'm typically a very shy person who plays it safe and follows the rules, but once in a while I like to shake things up; see what fun chemical reaction I'll get if I mix a little of this, a little of that, and a lot of these.  And here I have an experiment that has evolved into more than this adventurer was expecting.  

First, I really didn't mean to shock people.  I have that effect at times, I know, but it seemed like such a simple little thing:  We're moving to Colorado.  I had to grab a helmet and run for cover.  Ok, so it wasn't that bad.  Most of our friends and family were DEFINITELY Shocked, but most responded with support and love.  I was a bit baffled by those who were angry at us.  But, upon reflection can see where they were coming from.  

As I stood in the chicken coop the other day, it suddenly dawned on me that this was more than "just" moving.  I definitely was NOT prepared for the tears that started flowing.  This building was more than just a chicken coop.  It was a building built with love, sweat, and dreams.  We had poured our hearts into this place.  We had made so many plans and had so many dreams of what our lives would be living here the rest of our lives.  Being the strong person that I am, the tears were quickly squelched.  There was no time for tears.  There's just too much to do and plan and organize and decide and ..... I'll just cry later.  And later I shall!

Not only was I going on faith, without a job, but I was also changing, forever, the lives of my husband and children.  I'm not worried about Fredo.  He's tough and is even more excited about this new adventure than I am.  He's like a little boy on Christmas morning who got everything on his Christmas list.  His eyes sparkle and his face lights up when we talk about the move.  

 I'm not so worried about Shenandoah either.  She's a tough little cookie.  We asked her about moving to Colorado and her response was, "Yay!  Snow!!!"  She'll be fine wherever she goes.  She'll make new friends and live a fun, new adventure.  She is, after all, my adventurous one.  

Merlin will be fine too.  He gets more and more excited each day about our move to Colorado.  He's tough and resilient.  He will make new friends and have so many new experiences.  His PRIDE will shine brightly and he will blossom!

Here's where it gets a little tough!  My Meghan!  Instead of a gentle move into adulthood and independence, I feel that I'm kicking her out the door with her bags packed.  Oh wait, I forgot her toothbrush and toothpaste!  She doesn't see it that way, of course.  To her this is also a new adventure.  She's staying in Bryan and will be an independent adult!  THIS is what I was NOT prepared for!!!

She's on the hunt for a place to call her own.  She's going to be approximately 1044 miles, 18 hours and 44 minutes away from ME!!!!!  Right now, she's reading this and rolling her eyes.  I can't blame her... It is pretty sappy!  

But, but, but.... I wasn't ready for THIS.  I was ready for her living in a small place 7 to 15 miles away.  A hop, skip, and jump away.  What happens if she stubs her toe?  What happens when she gets a flat tire?  What happens when she needs a shoulder to cry on? 

I used to say, when they were toddlers, that I would jump for joy the day they turned 18.  I'd open the door and say, "There you go, the world is waiting."

Now I want to scream, "Wait, don't go, the world is too big!"  Ok, I don't really want to scream that.

The Counselor in me says, "Meghan, welcome to your new life.  Embrace it.  Experience it.  Enjoy every second.  Take it slow and easy.  There's no rush.  Have fun.  Be open to new experiences.  Be Bold.  Be Honest.  Live each day to its fullest.

The Mom in me is struggling to accept that it's time for her to roll out a new and fresh canvas, whip out her colorful Prisma pencils, and create one Hell of a Great new Adventure for herself.  

Phew.  I feel better now.  I just needed to get it all out.  Thanks for listening. 

Just be warned... You do NOT want to be around the day our U Haul pulls out of the driveway headed North.  The floodgates are going to open and Maintenance won't be able to shut them off!

Faith.  Yep, that's what I was going on.  Monday I said, "Let's move to Colorado."  Wednesday I resigned from my job.  Thursday I began the hunt for a new one.  By Faith, I knew that I would find something.  I would shovel snow from driveways if it meant that we were finally going to Colorado and starting a new life.  I took a Huge Leap and there WAS a net!  It was Awesome.  I had two job offers in 4 days.  

We have a few more "small" things to figure out, like where we're going to land when we get there and finding a job for Fredo.  House hunting is NOT fun, but we'll find something.  We'll have plenty of cardboard boxes once we unpack, and Fredo is a super creative builder.  We could have an amazing cardboard home in no time at all.  ;o)

It's time; Time to file all those fears and worries away and pull out the Master plan.   It's Time to leap and leap again... Like Frogger getting across the busy road.  We are master's of this game.  It is our game; of our own design.  "We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams..."  ~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy ~

It's time to Dream and Dream Big!  Colorado, Here we come! 

Fun Garden Beds

I have a tremendous amount of amusement creating fun and new decorative garden beds in our garden.  Today, I wanted to share a simple "How-To" of building a very cool flower/garden bed.

We obtained a great supply of old, heavy fencing that is weathered and worn.  This lumber made the perfect material for one of my favorite garden beds.  I started by cutting the fence posts into varying sizes from 6" to 14" in length.

I then started digging a design in the yard in the shape I wanted my garden bed.  

Once the garden border has been completed, it is time to lay a layer of newspapers... not too thick.  You want enough that it helps with weed control but not too much so that it decomposes and allows the plant roots to grow below.  I put about three to four sheets thick.  I have read on other blog sites and internet sites that some people put the newspaper as thick as 8 sheets thick.

It's important to water the newspaper thouroughly... making sure the newspaper is good and wet!

It's then time to put down the gardening soil.  We usually put in our own home grown compost, but had run out.  We bought some good Vegetable/garden soil at Lowe's.  Be sure to put a thick amount of soil to allow for root growth.  We put 6-8 inches.

The garden bed is now ready for planting.  We planted cauliflower, cilantro, spinach, and broccoli in this garden bed

Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza

A Police lineup!

It has been safely locked away in a vintage, sea green suitcase.  The edges of the case are frayed, the stitching worn, and the handle nothing more than rusted, cold metal.  I know it’s still there, resting between fragmentary, faded memories.  Every few years I pull it down from the top shelf of the closet; lonely, half-forgotten.  The dust filters through the air and invades my nose as I breathe in the musty odor of antiquity.  The rusty locks are intact, secure, and untouched.  It has not moved, has not been touched by another, nor has it been freed from its confines.  But how can that be?  Years have passed; ages it seems, but, still it finds its way back to me more often than I care for.  I thought, in my foggy, weak state of mind, that locking it away would keep it from coming back time after time.  I thought I was freed, but I know; I’ve always known that it cannot be contained, controlled.  It slips out of its confines to make its way back to torment me.

“My head is whirling in the darkness, yet it’s not dark but an overwhelming void.  I search frantically through the void, groping, stumbling on the corpses of others who could not find the light.  It is a heavy quilt suffocating the innocent sleeper.  Self-loathing wraps its long, writhing tendrils through my soul, squeezes my heart, injects its dark, heavy ink into my veins.  My heart aches from the wound I made with a sword molded and fired by the Devil himself.  I tear my heart desperately trying to ease the awful pain.  I want to stop the pain!  PLEASE STOP THE PAIN!!!  The void tightens its grip, squeezing life from my body and mind; leaving me in nothingness.  Nothing.  Darkness has won another victory.  I was its prey and it overcame.  Victory to the darkness, its victim has fallen.  Nothingness consumes my mind.  I feel and see nothing.  The darkness has control.  No pain, no fear, no regrets.  The darkness has won yet another battle.”

Don’t panic, don’t worry… This blog is about Hope, Love, and Recovery!  If you have never suffered from depression, please keep reading.  Knowledge and understanding breed compassion.

Depression is an ugly shroud of deception!  It takes over an otherwise logical and contented mind and fills it with doubt, paranoia, anger, defeat, self-loathing, fatigue, worry, and uncertainty.  I have lived 43 years with Depression and it has been a battle that has not yet been completely won, but I am one hell of a fighter!  I don’t give in easily and I won’t lose this battle!  As a matter of fact, I’m ahead on the brightly lit scoreboard.  The Home team is in the lead and the visiting team is struggling to stay in the game.

Depression is a fog that creeps across the soul and into the mind; slowly and deliberately.

It’s a fist that slams you in the stomach swiftly and unexpectedly. 

It has no playbook, no coach, no offensive coordinator, no specials team.  It’s a rogue out to steal your sanity and happiness! 

It shocks me sometimes how stealth depression can be.  Life is moving along just fine and suddenly one tiny, little thing happens and Depression attacks full force, without notice, without compassion. Then there are those times when you suddenly realize that depression has slept with you, walked with you, stalked you for weeks and even months and you were clueless to its presence.  It was soaking in, seeping into every pore, every cell, and every atom ever so slowly saturating your core.

And, I have to say, one of my Pet Peeves is when people say: “You don’t look depressed or act depressed.”  Everyone’s depression is their own unique experience.  It’s not quantifiable. It’s a police lineup and every person in that line is guilty.  Every one of them has a different face, a different MO, a different victim, but they are all called by the same name:  Depression.

I know people whose souls and hearts are suffering greatly from depression, but their outward appearance is one of smiles and positive expression.  We have great actors in this world and they are not all on the silver screen.  They do not all win Oscars for their stellar performances.  They are sitting next to you in class, they eat potluck with you at church, they live in the same house, and they work in the office next to you.  They suffer every second of every day in silence. 

One of my favorite quotes I’ve seen on Facebook is:  “Sometimes when I say, “I’m ok”, I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, “I know you’re not”.”  My burden, so often, seems too heavy for me to bear; I couldn’t stand knowing that I might have passed my burden on to someone else.  That is why so many suffer in silence.  I know it’s not the ONLY reason, but it is one.  There are times I’m ready to burst with the pressure of holding in so much depression.  There are times I want to talk to someone and let it all unload, but I don’t.  The thought of sharing my burden with someone else makes me even that much more depressed.  I don’t want to be the next dump truck unloading on an unsuspecting, innocent person.  I’m tough, I can handle the load, I can carry it further, longer, I can suffer some more. 

Or at least that’s what I tell myself. It’s the lie that springs too easily from my lips, travels the highway of neurotransmitters in my overwhelmed brain, and sears itself in my limbic system. 

To Be Continued…

Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza

Awakening of the Senses

I am not typically a very observant person... I miss lots of small details that others catch.  I rush around life going here and there, thinking of 50 things at once, planning my next day, worrying that I might have said the wrong thing in a conversation, wondering if the penny I just picked up will give luck to the person I pass it to next, worrying about my garden, missing my kids while they are out and about during their busy day... It's nonstop!  Do you dream in full color, epic length, 3-D?  I do... most nights.  My brain doesn't know when to or how to shut down.  I have seriously considered picking up Transcendental meditation!

Today I was rushing downtown; rushing because I had a million things to do back at the office before my day ended (which reminds me of yesterday when Merlin walked into my office, which usually puts a smile on my face to see my son after a long day... but yesterday my mind was going a million miles a minute of all the things I still had to do before my day ended... I looked up, saw Merlin, and this horrific look passed over my face... for just a moment... a look that said "Holy Crap, Really?  Really?"... I actually said, "It's 4:00 already???" ... It Couldn't be 4:00!  It just couldn't... I had too many things to do before my day ended.  I immediately caught myself and profusely apologized to Merlin.  I told him I loved him, hugged him, and apologized 50 times... I felt so horrible that he saw that look of horror when he should have been met with a look of love!... Ok, so back to today and rushing downtown...

I picked up a package at Central office, rushing in and out as quickly as I could... so many things to do back at the office!!!

As I came down the steps at Central office, a fragrant scent reached out to me beckoning a rendezvous ... seeking a courtship with my senses, a love affair with my nose.  It was a sweet combination of honeysuckle and rose.  For just a moment I considered an RSVP, but No... so many things to do!  I walked through the fragrant mist ... as I rushed past the outer edge and caught the faint tendrils of love as they grasped longingly at my senses, I couldn't help but to turn around to locate the source of this love affair!

There by the steps was a large, luscious rose bush... not the typical Red Rose kind of rose, but more of a climbing rose... I obviously know Nothing about roses except they are pretty to look at and smell great.

For a second I thought, "I don't have time to stop and smell the roses"... and then realization hit... I Must stop to smell the roses.  I go through life (truth be told... this only happens when I'm in town... at home I'm going about 3 mph) at 100 mph and don't give enough time or thought to the simple pleasures in life.  By God, I was going to stop and smell the bloomin' roses!




I leaned closer and as my nose hovered over a sweet, enticing bloom, the sound of passing cars faded away.  Cheerful birds sang as they flitted about from tree to tree.  A strong breeze sent tendrils of hair across my face.  The aroma was a warm blanket full of memories wrapped around my shoulders and cradling me as a lullaby played ever so softly in my ear.  The birds sang, leaves rustled, the breeze soothed my tired muscles. I pulled away, but another fragrant bloom bid hello and I engaged in another love affair ... my nose and the bloom... mingling for only a few seconds and then parting again.

I stepped away from the rose bush and the world came crashing back around me... cars zoomed by, thoughts of work came flooding back.. but there still lingered on my lips the sweet memory of soft caresses of a scent that took me for a spin.  A smile played at the corners of my mouth as I got in my truck.  The big, wide, crazy world was back full force, but the sweet memory of that short lived affair with a lovely rose bush changed my entire perspective.  I was so damn grateful the temptation won over and pulled me in to it's sweet embrace and awakened my senses if even for a moment.


Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza

Totally Violated!!!!!

Awww... look at the cute little duck.

His name is Star and he was the cutest little duck ever!  I fell in love with him at first site.  I'll never forget the day we brought him home ... the day he stole our hearts! Soft, yellow, cuddly, precious little ball of joy.  That was our Star.

As he grew, he became quite the ladies man...  a charmer... stealing the hearts of the local ladies

He was a born leader... a role model like no other... The other drakes looked up to him ... emulated his every move...

But there was trouble brewing in this young duck's heart.  He became agitated, angry, and restless.  

Let me clarify that mating season is in full swing!  Our four drakes chase each other around the pasture vying for Top Duck... A literal pecking order ...waiting for the day when we finally get some hens and they can impress the heck out of the ladies!


Let me just say now, We need some Hens!  


















Here is my story...


The other day I was walking in the pasture having just fed our chickens.  It was a bright, sunny day with a gentle breeze that lifted tender tendrils of hair from the nape of my neck. The sun kissed the crown of my head; the warmth making its way to my shoulders.  Our alpha male duck, Star, was viciously attacking Sam-I-Am, a younger drake who struggled to keep one step ahead of his attacker.  I picked Star up to protect Sam and calm our agitated drake.  He stood, struggling to maintain his balance, on my arm.  I started to sooth him with a soft voice when he suddenly and totally unexpectedly raced up my arm to my shoulder and back of my neck, grabbed a thick lock of my hair in his beak and starting flapping his wings wildly while beginning, what became evidently clear in a matter of one second, a mating behavior!!!


I guarantee that if anyone else had been in the pasture at that moment or in a passing car on the road, they would have thought I was fighting off a dozen venomous snakes or covered in flesh-eating ants.  I can't vouch for the words that escaped my mouth during those few moments!  All I know is that I felt Totally Violated!  He had a death grip on my hair and as he was on the back of my neck, I couldn't reach around to grab him.  His wings were flapping wildly and I couldn't get a grip on anything!  The seconds seemed to turn to minutes... minutes to hours as I tried to fight off this very active Duck!  I was spinning in circles trying to shake him off!  There was no one to call to for help, there was no one to call 911, there was no one but me and that STUPID duck attacking me!  I was finally able to grab my hair and rip it free from his grip (losing some hair in the process).  As he reached for my hair again, he bit my fingers that were desperately fighting him off!  I was finally able to dislodge him from my neck and as he flew to the ground, I turned on him with such outrage and disbelief!  


He looked up at me with those little duck eyes, all innocent and sweet... I swear there was a smirk on his beak! 

I wanted to kick him square in his stupid beak and give him a piece of my mind, but I turned and raced out of the pasture.  I had been violated!  I guarantee that he is no longer and will never again be "that cute wittle ducky"!  


In preparation for writing this blog, I did some research on the mating behaviors of ducks and this is what I found:




In an article titled, Duck Mating, the sex lives of ducks by Sally Schloss, her first sentence reads, "Rape is not typically something you associate with those darling “duckies” who bob along the surface of the water to the delight of children and adults at the local pond. " - http://www.webvet.com/main/2009/01/09/duck-mating-sex-lives-ducks


No KIDDING!  I learned more from this article than I ever wanted to know about my pet ducks!




Well, needless to say, Star is my duck and I still love him (No, you can't have him, Morgan Allen!)  I may not approve of his recent behavior, but like any of my other children, he needs to learn a good lesson!!!  

So the daily adventures of raising ducks continues! 

A Kick-Ass Adventure

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ~~ Henry David Thoreau

Have you Lived?  Really Lived?  How does one live their Life to the fullest?  How does one determine the value of the life they lived?  How do you determine if it was a life well lived or not?  As a child I thought having lots and lots of people at my funeral showed the value of the life I had lived, the number of people who loved me, and if people cried for me the more the better.  Didn't that mean that my life was Awesome if people cried over my passing?  Childish views!

What do I need to do in my life to make sure it is Lived Well and Good and Deliberate?  Maybe I need a really long bucket list.  Isn't that the "In" thing right now.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'd love to have the job of "Idiot Abroad"... What I wouldn't give to be able to experience the things he has experienced.  Of course, I would be terrible for that show because I wouldn't complain and whine enough.  

Maybe I need to participate in death-defying stunts or high adrenaline extreme sports like sky-diving.  I need to go on grand adventures around the world, or at least around the contiguous United States.  Perhaps I can determine the value of my life lived by the house I have built, the money I have saved, my investments, my accomplishments, my awards and accolades.   Or better yet, by the spiritual life I have lived.  Having lived a healthy, wholesome life would also be a great determination of the value of my life lived.

Ummmmm... NO!  That's just it, my idea of living a Great life is not determined by how risky, how lavish, how experienced, how long, how spiritual a life I live.  My life is based on what I value... your life is based on what you value.  Others will critique my life once I am gone.  Some will find it necessary to put a value to the life I lived.  They will give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down, but it won't matter because I won't be there anymore.  I will be in a better place and starting on new adventures and a new life.  

I am, right now, at this very moment, living a Great life.  Now I might not feel the same way 6 months from now if a major life change happens that takes me by surprise.  Something unexpected happens to tilt my cozy little world on end and jumble up the balance I have maintained.  But isn't that what life is best at?  Life is great at tumbling things around, adding that extra weight or two or three to one side of my scale.  It's what is the most frustrating, most expected, and most exciting part of life:  That tipping of the balance we have worked so hard to create.  

Have I Lived?  I have lived deliberately at many different times of my life.  I have watched as my carefully balanced scale has been disrupted and tipped horrendously to one side.  I have reacted to situations in life, and I have deliberately made decisions to regain balance.  I have lived 43 years of life and plan on living at least 42 more.  That means that I am halfway there.  I will not be a world adventurer, I will not live wealthy, I will not be in newspapers and magazines, I will not live a particularly healthy life, I will not have dozens and dozens of people at my funeral, and I will not die a martyr.  But, I will have lived a life that I am pleased with, a life I feel was lived and lived well, a life I will be proud of, and when it is time for me to leave this world, I will be ready to move on to new adventures knowing that this life lived here on earth was one Kick Ass Adventure!

By the way, if you are planning on attending my funeral 40-some-odd years from now, don't be shocked when my children play "Highway To Hell" by ACDC at my funeral.  It is a family joke and they Absolutely plan on playing that song at my funeral.  When you hear it, just laugh and enjoy.  Let me share a little secret with you... I plan on going to a better place ;o)

Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza

And so it begins... Casual Observations of Life

This blog is dedicated to my Grandmother, Gamma (Jane Menefee Schutt).  One thing she taught me early in life is the importance of being a casual observer.  She sent a wonderful book to me because she noticed that I was a Casual Observer.  Along with the book came an amazing flowered bonnet much like the little girl in the book.  I wore that thing like crazy wandering around outside being the best casual observer of nature as I could be.  I spent the next 33 years being life's casual observer.

As a Casual Observer, I have maintained my image as a loner in school, a wall flower in social situations, a quiet thinker instead of a social butterfly.  I have been an introvert all my life and fought the image that introverts are weak, undesirable, and no fun!  Not true!!!  I am Strong, Desirable, and Fun when and if you take the time to get to know the real me... The me that is hiding quietly behind the wall observing the rest of the world... the me that is lovable, free spirited, open minded, giving, caring, spiritual, and so much more.

I recently read an intriguing article about the power of introversion in Time Magazine:  "The Upside Of Being An Introvert (And Why Extroverts Are Overrated)  By Bryan Walsh Monday, Feb. 06, 2012".  I highly recommend this article to all Introverts and extroverts alike.  It definitely gives a different take on the image of both and why being an introvert is a powerful thing.  I have been an introvert, to the extreme, all my life.  I was the wall flower, the loner, the social misfit. I am incredibly uncomfortable in social situations.  I avoid social gatherings unless I know there is at least one other person I can cling to, follow around, and talk to.  I have to say though, that being an educator has definitely cured a great deal of my introversion when I am around kids.  I feel 100% comfortable talking to an auditorium full of students.  I am absolutely at home in a classroom teaching.  When it comes to being an educator... I am at home and an extrovert.


What I have learned during my many casual observations of life is that Living life "out loud" doesn't require a person who is the life of the party.  Living Life "out loud" requires taking off your blinders, opening your eyes and heart, and allowing your senses to experience everything life throws at you.  Introversion is a blessing and my Grandmother knew that.  She passed on the most important thing I have learned in life: Being a Casual Observer of life is a strength, a benefit, a blessing.  

I will continue my work as Life's Casual Observer... not for anyone else but myself.  I am on a journey, an adventure.  I am not seeking answers or trying to find myself.  I know who I am, I know what I want from life, I know where I am going.  I am on a journey of observing life at it's best and at it's worst.  I am in search of nothing more than seeing life with blinders off, eyes wide open, heart and mind waiting to learn all that I can.  I will share my observations along the way and I truly hope you learn something from these observations, after all, I am an educator.

Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza