2012 is close to an end. Only 44 days left of this year of learning to be Bold. This has been one of the Most impressionable years of my life. It was a year of struggle, learning, discovery, and spontaneity.
A great friend of mine once told me, in the midst of great depression and self loathing, to be Bold; to be courageous and face my doubts and fears with a bold and confident air. How had my mind and soul become so knotted, gasping for air, straining against the confines of their imprisonment? The dark, oppressive air of a lifeless and lost soul constricted my thoughts, my desires, my dreams, and my ability to discern basic emotions. The labyrinth of my soul led straight to the center of a desolate and melancholy void.
A beautifully adorned mask with glittering jewels and polished gold concealed my tormented soul, but I neglected to see the fragile fissures and their elaborate web in the substructure. I wore my mask daily in an attempt to conceal the albatross that closed about my throat tighter and tighter still, strangling me till the light in my eyes had almost been snuffed out. The only thing that kept that glimmer of hope was my family and friends. They were my anchors.
This was NOT the life I wanted to live. This was NOT the path I wanted to continue on. This was NOT my destiny and the more I fought to break free, the more the chains tightened.
Be Bold. Two simple words. Once spoken that night while we sat under the stars, talking about our lives and the changes we needed to make, it suddenly hit me. Be Bold. I had some work to do. I pondered her words for a month or so; letting them filter through my brain, seep into my soul, and trickle into my heart. I practiced being bold; small things here and there.
I realized all too soon, that to be Bold, I had to face my fears, make life-altering changes, and find a new path. No, that's not right. I didn't need a new path; I just needed to take the path I was on and make some changes, reroute. I no longer wanted to be on a single path. I didn't want to take the road less traveled. I wanted to take multiple roads less traveled. I wanted to create my own roads and discover what lay ahead. I was now on a journey to create my own road map. It was time to be BOLD!
"Babe, do you want to move to Colorado?" With that simple question, the chains began falling from my soul. I was starting to breathe again; not shallow, painful breaths, but deep, cleansing breaths. The gold mask fell heavily from my fingers and landed in the dust as I walked boldly toward my new life. I was not running away, but embracing a dream. It was time to live my life boldly.
I have been living boldly for 4 months.
My road map continues to grow. It's not about where you live either, but that you live your life boldly. I am living my life. I want to see as much as I can of this beautiful country that God created. I want to discover, explore, and Live. I don't want to have any regrets or wish that I had done more; seen more. I am busy living life boldly and enjoying every second.
This is my life... Welcome.
Copyright © 2012 Life's Casual Observer blog, Lauren Espinoza
