It's Way more than just dismantling the chicken coop. It's SO much more than just another chapter of my life. When I stop long enough to think about the impact of that one little, seemingly innocent, question, "Babe, do you want to move to Colorado?", I realize that this is more like a Cosmic shifting of planets, an El Nino of Epic proportions, A "Holy Crap, are we Really doing this?"
Someone told me recently, "Leap... there will be a net." Yes, that may be true, but she didn't tell me that between that Leap of Faith and the net on the other side, was one Hell of a bumpy ride! Now, I have to say that I have no one to blame but myself and I'm not complaining either. I'm so excited about this Leap of Faith and so very ready for new adventure in our lives. It didn't even Hit me until I walked into the Chicken Coop the other day and stood looking at the emptiness, taking in the silence, watching tiny particles of dust sift through rays of sunlight. This was Epic!
Ok, I'm the first to admit that being a "tad bit" spontaneous and a "little" impulsive can make for a BIG change. I like change, I welcome change, I embrace it with enthusiasm and excitement. I'm typically a very shy person who plays it safe and follows the rules, but once in a while I like to shake things up; see what fun chemical reaction I'll get if I mix a little of this, a little of that, and a lot of these. And here I have an experiment that has evolved into more than this adventurer was expecting.
First, I really didn't mean to shock people. I have that effect at times, I know, but it seemed like such a simple little thing: We're moving to Colorado. I had to grab a helmet and run for cover. Ok, so it wasn't that bad. Most of our friends and family were DEFINITELY Shocked, but most responded with support and love. I was a bit baffled by those who were angry at us. But, upon reflection can see where they were coming from.
As I stood in the chicken coop the other day, it suddenly dawned on me that this was more than "just" moving. I definitely was NOT prepared for the tears that started flowing. This building was more than just a chicken coop. It was a building built with love, sweat, and dreams. We had poured our hearts into this place. We had made so many plans and had so many dreams of what our lives would be living here the rest of our lives. Being the strong person that I am, the tears were quickly squelched. There was no time for tears. There's just too much to do and plan and organize and decide and ..... I'll just cry later. And later I shall!
Merlin will be fine too. He gets more and more excited each day about our move to Colorado. He's tough and resilient. He will make new friends and have so many new experiences. His PRIDE will shine brightly and he will blossom!
Here's where it gets a little tough! My Meghan! Instead of a gentle move into adulthood and independence, I feel that I'm kicking her out the door with her bags packed. Oh wait, I forgot her toothbrush and toothpaste! She doesn't see it that way, of course. To her this is also a new adventure. She's staying in Bryan and will be an independent adult! THIS is what I was NOT prepared for!!!
But, but, but.... I wasn't ready for THIS. I was ready for her living in a small place 7 to 15 miles away. A hop, skip, and jump away. What happens if she stubs her toe? What happens when she gets a flat tire? What happens when she needs a shoulder to cry on?
I used to say, when they were toddlers, that I would jump for joy the day they turned 18. I'd open the door and say, "There you go, the world is waiting."
Now I want to scream, "Wait, don't go, the world is too big!" Ok, I don't really want to scream that.
The Counselor in me says, "Meghan, welcome to your new life. Embrace it. Experience it. Enjoy every second. Take it slow and easy. There's no rush. Have fun. Be open to new experiences. Be Bold. Be Honest. Live each day to its fullest.
The Mom in me is struggling to accept that it's time for her to roll out a new and fresh canvas, whip out her colorful Prisma pencils, and create one Hell of a Great new Adventure for herself.
Phew. I feel better now. I just needed to get it all out. Thanks for listening.
Just be warned... You do NOT want to be around the day our U Haul pulls out of the driveway headed North. The floodgates are going to open and Maintenance won't be able to shut them off!
Faith. Yep, that's what I was going on. Monday I said, "Let's move to Colorado." Wednesday I resigned from my job. Thursday I began the hunt for a new one. By Faith, I knew that I would find something. I would shovel snow from driveways if it meant that we were finally going to Colorado and starting a new life. I took a Huge Leap and there WAS a net! It was Awesome. I had two job offers in 4 days.
We have a few more "small" things to figure out, like where we're going to land when we get there and finding a job for Fredo. House hunting is NOT fun, but we'll find something. We'll have plenty of cardboard boxes once we unpack, and Fredo is a super creative builder. We could have an amazing cardboard home in no time at all. ;o)
It's time; Time to file all those fears and worries away and pull out the Master plan. It's Time to leap and leap again... Like Frogger getting across the busy road. We are master's of this game. It is our game; of our own design. "We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams..." ~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy ~
It's time to Dream and Dream Big! Colorado, Here we come!
